Why have I been quiet? Can't you tell

Lydia, my love", shouted almost Brian. "I was terrified that you may had left without looking back......like you had done in 2000, Lydia, you just walked out on a late Friday afternoon from work..... without considering me as part of your equation, at all. "Did you? Did you? Was I on your mind when you stormed out of the office?! Was I? Brain breaks down in tears. He just couldn't hid it anymore, after 26 long years. The airs were tense and Lydia's jaw was dropped and the dis-believe mood in her head was still and she had made the best efforts in regaining her own posture after one whole year's of speculation if Brian was just "playing" with her emotions. She covered her face as the tears falling down her face. "Why didn't you say something, Brian? Why didn't you? I, I, I had had texted you,,,,,,I can't even recalled how many times I've tried to communicate with you that you can call me anytime. I don't know, I don't know, Brian, this is the first time we have... actually having a real conversation, you, you, had never said anything to me.....I wanted to get to know your twin girls and you have to let me into your world, Brian. Lydia ...