Validation Seeking......

Now that he knows he could have you and that you did respond to his interest, his "25-year mission" is technically complete. For some, the pursuit is more attractive than the actual relationship.

• The "Phantom Ex" & Idealization: For 25 years, he lived with a "phantom" version of you that was perfect and safe. Meeting in person made you real. For someone with an avoidant attachment style, realness requires vulnerability and emotional labor, which can feel terrifying and "suffocating".